The Leader You Be
This article was originally published in Access the World digital magazine, https://accesstheworld.com/.
We often think of leading as something you do:
You lead the class through a new lesson.
You lead your team to a new sales record.
You lead the charge into battle.
Often, there is an identifiable outcome. The students pass the test, the team achieves its target, the war is won. In this view, a leader is someone who does things, and a great leader is someone who does those things better than others.
Look at those examples again. Do you notice that in all of them, the leader is following a predefined plotline? She may be doing it adeptly, or creatively, or brilliantly, but it is just another play through the script of “this is how things are done.”
Is a world based on “this is how things are done” enough for you? If not, consider a different type of leader: One who is creating an original script based on their very own unique knowing and talents and desire for a different world. A leader who goes whether or not anyone follows. One who leads by being.
How do you lead by being?
Start
What do you wish the world was like? What have you always known should be possible but do not see in the world around you? I’d like a world with more kindness, more generosity, and less divisive name calling. What’s on your list? Start now to create that!
Go
Are you waiting for someone to show you how? For others to be it for you first? What step can you take today to create more of what you desire the world to be? Take it.
Then, do not judge the size of your step. That smile to the harried cashier may have brightened his day, or saved his life, or gone unnoticed. It does not matter. You being the smile creates more of that energy in the world.
And do not judge the direction. Sometimes backwards, sideways, and circles are the path forward.
Play
Have fun. Skin your knee. Make the dunk shot. Try something new. Choose to have it as your new favorite thing. Choose to never to do it again. There’s no right or wrong to being. You can’t screw it up. Choose, get the awareness of what that choice creates, and choose again.
Don’t stop
When you get stuck, shift your attention to be present with your body or the earth. Exhale. Let go of the tension you hold as protection. Find the tender, vulnerable space you be and ask a question. Is this truly what I’d like to create? What can I do or be different? What can I add? What’s right about me I’m not getting? What else is possible?
Do not look for the answer. Ask the question and let it go. And then take two more steps.
One step from my life was choosing to drive a friend to the hospital the morning before I was moving from town. There was so much to do that I did not have time for, and now a friend asked for emergency transport. But because I chose to drive her, I saw the most beautiful sunrise.
In choosing to be kind and then choosing to be grateful for the moment that showed up, even though it was not the moment I had planned, I let go of the stress and overwhelm of my to-do list and created a space that allowed everything required to be accomplished with a profound sense of gratitude and ease. For that day, that was the energy I put into the world for others to know, “Hey, this is possible!”
When others notice what is possible, they may choose to be it, too. Or perhaps they’ll notice your ease with life. Maybe it drives them so crazy they just have to ask your secret. You can tell them about being.
Leading by being is a continuous creation. There is no outcome you reach and then you are done. There is always more to be. Sometimes you will be with a person and see them change like magic. Those moments are precious. Acknowledge them without making them significant.
Many more times you may doubt that you are leading at all. Then one day you will get up, go out to live your life, and notice that the world is different. People are kinder, less stressed, or more playful.